Let's Start a Singles Group!!

Oh those words...Let's start a singles group. It follows the vast discussion of what to do with those non married people that come to church alone. Sit in the pew with their high tech gadgets taking notes feverishly. Then after getting their half hugs or a squeeze on the shoulder they trek out to their lonely car and are never heard of again...until next Sunday.

What most people do not understand...is that a Singles Group in a church is even harder to do than a youth group. Youth group kids usually don't have many friends outside of the church. So to them going to church is getting to see all their friends. For a single person woman or man...we have friends from work, college, and other social interactions that sometimes coincide with midweek church service. This makes our appearances more sporadic. So when a rigid schedule is put on a singles groups, for example we are going to meet every Thursday, alarms go off in my head!! Wait! I have networking happy hours on Thursdays, not mention art gallery opening happen on Tuesday, as well as the phrase, Thursdays are just not good for me. Nevertheless, once the schedule has been abated and agreed upon, the next point of business is, who is going to teach the class?

For some reason, singles groups are lead by older couples that have teen to adult children. I guess...they should know how to be single in a secular world where everything is tolerated, and friends come from all walks of life. MAYBE IF THEY WERE HIPPIES (No offense to hippies or self proclaimed hippies, I love you all). However, I find that their approach to teaching singles is the equivalent of talking to their children. If I wanted to talk to my parents I would have. Singles group is a time to vent out your frustrations of being a single woman in a safe haven where other women are going,  "I know exactly what you mean." It should be a time where you don't have to sit around and smile at the married ladies swapping children's stories and texting pictures of their family vacation to Disney world. It is a time where you can get the support and understanding, that you are having thoughts of having sex with the next guy that smiles your way. It is a time to understand that having a glass of wine is not boozing it up, but winding down from a very long, tough day at the office.

I get very excited and passionate about this subject because, for some reason churches and church organizations are all about the children (yes I know they are our future), or all about the youth (also another part of our scary future), but do they sit down and take a look at the valuable resource of a singles group could be? You basically have a group of adults (yes adults) that are young enough (I am talking mid 20's to early 30's, kids right out of high school don't count) to volunteer where needed. The issue is how to organize. I believe organizations forget that young singles are actually very busy. It may be with friends. It may be with work, but they are busy. In order to take advantage, of this important resource, scheduling is important. Let us know a head of time when this event is taking place, not sometime or around the 12th, but an actual date. Also allow the singles to be flexible.Sometimes meeting on a Saturday at 3:00pm may work for us. Don't be too rigid. Third be patient and consistent. If we can't come the first time or even the second time, keep on trying...the third time might be the charm that we decide we can come. It might not be as much as possible, but we will make for dang sure that it is on our calendar.

The Means to a Beginning...

Hi, Hello, Howdy Ya'll.

My name is Kelser (yes I know, "what a unique name, you've never heard that before"), and I am a single, female living in the great city of Houston, in the best state there is TEXAS. I am very proud to be born in this state and I was brought up (thanks to the Texan indoctrination of 4th grade and 7th grade Texas History) to be a proud flag waving American. I have never been married, and I have no children. I have grown up in the church as a born again Christian (easy to do when you grow in the south...especially when you are still in school). I believe that Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, that he died on the cross and rose again on the third day. Yes I love the Lord. But, that is not what I wanted to write about.

What I want to let people know about is the single Christian female in the late 20's early 30's. She is active in church, volunteer activities, arts groups, and the  corporate world. This is the female that gets looked at by people of the church as, there must be something wrong because she has yet to be married and have children. We as females are indoctrinated to want to have a family (which I really, really want someday), and if we don't, figure that something is wrong with me. But is it really? As a college graduate from a state school (Go LU cardinals!!) I have made many friends of all creeds, cultures, religious affiliations, sexual orientations, and just plane nutty people; and through it all I have stayed steadfast in my beliefs and convictions as a Christian. So why is it I have yet to find a suitable husband and started a family?

Who knows, but this is what I wanted to talk about. As a single Christian female living in a secular world I want to know, how does this work? From singles groups to social activities, from dating and sex before marriage to how in the world do I fix this creaking fan. I want people to know that there are single born again Christian females in the corporate world  that are not teachers (I found that most the single women at my church were teachers it was weird). But we want to be able to cook a great meal for one, learn better social etiquette, all while maintaining a strong relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ. And yes, we will stumble and we are struggling because we scream out the phrase "Hey, What about Me!!! God I'm still Here!